sabato 24 novembre 2007

I folletti lavorano nelle banche irlandesi

Come avevo già accennato in passato, una delle prime cose a cui noi italiani stentiamo a credere, una volta giunti in Irlanda, è la semplicità dei meccanismi bancari. Qui, qualsiasi sia la banca che scegliete per il vostro conto, vi basterà una mezzoretta (spesso anche meno) per aprirlo e compilare le scartoffie necessarie a ricevere una carta Laser (l'equivalente del nostro Bancomat), senza (!!!) alcuna spesa né di apertura né, quando e se verrà il momento, di chiusura del conto stesso. Solo qualche costo di manutenzione annuo, comunque bassissimo e spesso eliminabile se si fa un acquisto tramite carta Laser, e una tassa governativa, sempre annua, di qualche decina di euro. Praticamente, un sogno per chiunque arrivi dalla Penisola.

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Ecco che quindi, una volta aperte, ricevo la strabiliante notizia che aziende inglesi a me sconosciute mi hanno fatto 3 bonifici per un totale di quasi 5.000 €! Non lo nascondo, una volta rinvenuto la mia primissima reazione è stata questa:

Poi i miei neuroni tornano a connettersi, le sinapsi si riaccendono e capisco che, onde evitare la possibile accusa di riciclaggio di denaro del narcotraffico e/o trovarmi sicari davanti a casa, è forse il caso di chiarire il disguido. Perché di disguido si dev'essere trattato: evidentemente hanno assunto alla AIB la sorella della contabile della mia precedente azienda (che, per ERRORE, mi aveva versato uno stipendio doppio!).

Ci vuole poco a risalire ai fatti nudi e crudi: una soffiata [edito: è stata l'ingegnera a farmela, mi mangia vivo se non lo scrivo!] mi avverte infatti di questo articolo, sparato in prima pagina sull'Irish Times:


Una cosuccia da nulla insomma. Beh, giusto se escludete che io ora posseggo i dettagli del conto in banca di tale Matthew Saildiavolochisia. E che qualcun altro ha i miei. Ora che ci penso, fermo restando che sono convinto che l'errore tecnico responsabile di tutto ciò sia stato licenziato con ignominia e giustiziato in sala mensa: qualcuno ha un conto italiano da prestarmi?

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Da non cre-der-ci! Inutile dire che fin quando ti ritrovi doppi stipendi e soldini in più, la cosa si fa in un certo senso interessante. Ma quello che colpisce ancora di più è la quantità di situazioni incredibili che ti sono accadute in pochi mesi, degne dei più bei racconti attorno al fuoco! Insomma, sia in irlanda, sia leggendo questo blog, non ci si annoia di certo!! Ciaoo

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Hai omesso volontariamente il mio contributo alla risoluzione della spy-financial-story alla Ken Follet relegandomi a un ruolo totalmente marginale! La prossima volta ti lascio andare alla AIB inc***ato nero di persona anzichè farti le soffiate via sms.

Comunque mi sento di spezzare una lancia in tuo favore: è giusto ricordare ai lettori che il tuo primo e onesto pensiero, quando hai saputo del totale dell'ammontare dei bonifici, è stato "Scappiamo in Brasile!"... :D Beh, visto l'andazzo, non bisognerà aspettare molto per essere al centro di nuovi ed esilaranti errori bancari! ...Brasil, we're coming!

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